Let me start by saying I'm a Christian, and I don't like watching bad stuff. This guy I like, though, invited me to a movie with his friends, and the movie is rated R. I know he's a Christian, so I don't know why he's watching that kind of stuff anyway. Oh yeah, I'm fifteen. Any advice?
Yours truly,
Cinema Challenged
Dear Cinema Challenged,
My youth pastor always says, "Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future."
I totally understand where you're coming from and how difficult these kinds of situations are. I still struggle with it all the time. You want to have high standards, but you also want to have friends, right?
My biggest suggestion is that you take some time to read verses like Philippians 4:8 that tell us the kinds of things we should be thinking about as Christians, and pray with an open heart about what that means in your life. Sometimes God convicts people in different ways. What I mean is, certain things, like a guy watching porn for instance, are always wrong. Other things are more grey, though, like PG-13 movies for instance. God might convict one person to never watch PG-13 movies, and might not give another person that same conviction.
The important thing is that you focus on your relationship with God rather than rules. Rules are very important, don't get me wrong, because they help us stay focused, but ultimately we should be motivated out of our love for God rather than because we have a desire to be a good person. If you are honest with yourself and live in surrender to God, you can trust Him to guide you. That's a skill you'll really need in the future. I'm trying to make decisions about colleges right now, and I'm so glad that I committed to trying to "hear" God's voice several years ago because I've started to get more comfortable with it lately.
Now, that said, let me address your actual question. Personally, I don't think R movies are ever a good idea to attend because there's a reason they got that R rating. A movie could be PG-13 and just be violent or deal with serious issues, but if a movie is R, it's got something very offensive in it, be it sex, language, or graphic violence, and I believe it's our responsibility as the body of Christ to guard ourselves against those types of things because they really do filter into our mindsets!
First let me say I think it's great that you're asking this question because it shows you have a sensitive heart and that you want to please God, but you also want to be honest about the fact that you like this boy. What I would do is try to figure out where this guy stands in his walk with God. Does he just call himself a Christian, or is he really following after God with his whole heart? Because if he's living completely surrendered to God (and if he's the kind of guy you want to stick around), then he will want to honor the fact that you want to live surrendered to God too, and being careful about what movies you watch is one way to do that.
Never compromise your convictions for anyone, friends or boyfriends. Not only will you feel crummy about it afterwards, but the kind of people who will ask you to compromise your convictions are not the kind of people you want as an active part of your life. They don't respect you for who you are and will only end up hurting you.
That said, maybe you could tell this guy you're interested in hanging out with his friends and you're happy that he asked, but you've made a commitment to God not to watch any movies over PG-13 (or maybe even PG!). If he's the kind of guy you want around, he'll respect that. Suggest another movie instead and ask if they'd be interested in seeing that one. Make sure you don't come across judgmental because sounding holier-than-thou won't help at all.
Hope it works out well for you, and like I said, I'm proud of you for taking a stand!
Sincerely,
Kaitlyn
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